Monday, 18 June 2012

Pets - What's The Point?

Most households have a pet.  Whether it be a dog, cat, goldfish or even a python, it is some kind of creature that the owners have an affinity for and that is something I find baffling.  Seriously, what is the point of having pets?

People tell me it is something to love but I see only a burden or, at best, a burger that will never happen.  I have had pets in my home.  Cats and hamsters mainly, with a brief appearance from a Tamagotchi, if that counts.  I didn't love the hamsters.  I certainly didn't love the cats.  Both were irritations, either craving attention or they felt the urge to disturb me at inconvenient times.  The hamsters showed no affection and just wondered why they were going nowhere on that wheel!  The cat was just a suck up when he wanted feeding but beyond that, he was in his own little world, seeking out the best place to sleep.  Pets demand your time and attention yet they give you very little, in fact nothing in return!

Then there is the financial implication.  Pets cost and a lot more than people realise.  You have to feed them, clean them, give them a place to sleep and then take care of their medical bills.  That is like raising a child, except there is no prospect of them looking after you when you're old.  At least with a child, you have a biological involvement in that creature's existence and it was thoroughly enjoyable creating them.  Sure, it may be hell after that but you got something out of it and they may help with the bills at some point.  Dogs will not pay the bills unless they win a national talent show, which is increasingly likely since 2012.

Some people have a dog and say "It's an excuse to go for a walk every day."  Yes, well done, you lack the willpower sufficient to go for a walk on a daily basis, so you bring in a pointless biological being to your home.  Chances are at some point that animal will defecate somewhere in your home and it won't be the toilet.  One of my cats decided to leave a little present outside my bedroom door on a regular basis.  It was always brown but a different shape, from the "Mr Whippy" to the "Splattergun".  Then he would sometimes leave a dead bird on the doorstep, half eaten, like a psychotic teenager had done a bad dissection in Science class.  I am informed that he was leaving me a present.  Yeah, that is the kind of present Vito Corleone would leave someone!

So pets take your time, your money, your space and fill your home with hair, poo, urine and mud dragged in from outside.  Your involvement in their lives was picking them up at a shop or a shelter because you felt something for them that cannot be quantified.  This you do for no reason beyond either you thought it was cute, probably driven by the nostalgia of having one as a kid when nothing needed to make sense, or you have a child that is bullying you into buying one.  In return, you get... nothing.  At best, as long as you don't give your pet the gonad chop, the one plus is that there is a member of the household that can sell their children legally.  Something that everyone does.  The dog has a load of puppies, you don't think of them as part of the family.  Nope, you give them away and even try to sell them.  Oh how you love animals, you hypocrites.

Pets are pointless.  Sure, you may be one of those who thinks they are something to love but find someone who can genuinely reciprocate it, rather than a creature that just hassles you for food, sleep and attention.  And before any woman chips in, that is not all a man wants!